How to be yourself II

Part 4 Busting the myths of social anxiety

You don't have a social problem

• social anxiety people usually have stellar social skills. But they are inhibited so they forget.
• 3 seconds rule: when you see someone you'd like to talk to or join a group, you have three seconds to approach and say hello. single start with "how's going" or "I couldn't help but eavesdrop"
• eye contact: 1/2 of time making eye contact. connect, look away, reconnect, look away
• play a role, dare to be average, fake it until you are it, drop safety behavior. 

Turn your attention inside out

• social anxiety is a mistaken belief that something is wrong with you and everyone will notice.
• practice shifting your attention away from monitoring your words. focus on your task.
• try meditation to learn to shift your attention
• practice deliberately looking at peoples' faces. 

Perfectionism

• a belief that one's self-worth is contingent upon the results, upon on our social performance
• there is a gap between perceived expectations and your belief in your ability to reach them
• anxiety can manifest as irritability and anger