Readings

This chapter lays out some strategies for success: planning ahead and visualizing goals talking back to negative thoughts thinking of what you will do if what you want doesn't come through Exercise 1: Set clear goals: when kids are young, use a picture of their goal they refer to. e.g. organized toys, ready for school When kids are a bit older, use mental contrasting step 1: set her own goal which is feasible and challenging step 2: write several words about the hoped-for outcome step 3: write down inner obstacles to that goal. consider how they will be affected and what they can do when the obstacles surface.  step 4: imagine themselves tackling these obstacles or at least enduring them. what self-talk will they use? what's their plan for coping when they face an obstacle? The knowledge that they have anticipated potential setbacks and allowed for contingencies will help them cope more effectively have a family meeting in which you share your written goals. ...

This chapter talks about the impact of technology on the children development.  Tech's downsides: When you refresh your email, look at your texts or social media, you get a hit of dopamine, and an especially big one if you encounter something positive, like a message from a girl/boy of your interest. This is intermittent reinforcement, which makes you addictive to checking your phone. your self-regulation is weakened.  addictive to games: low social competence, impulsivity, low stress tolerance, cognitive inflexibility and social anxiety Solution: seek to understand: Playing games with your kid. Try to understand what's appealing about it. Showing an interest and being knowledgeable will help you to effectively negotiate limits and intervene if problems arise. We're much better able to influence our kids when they feel respected and emotionally close to us negotiate firm limits with children: he must comply with the limits you've agreed upon in order to con...

Get them engaged 预习 encourage your child to learn by herself, and to teach what they've learned to someone else. Choose a school that challenge but does not stress out your child - when they are given difficult material in a learning environment in which it is safe to explore, make mistakes, and take the time they need to learn and produce good work. when your kid is terrified that his teacher is going to call on him and he'll be embarrassed in front of the class, he's not thinking at all about whatever she is teaching at the moment.  do our kids feel safe in school, physically and emotionally? is it safe for them to make mistakes? are developmentally sensitive to their curriculum and appropriate for your child. Some kids do well as big fish in small ponds. it gives them the confidence to tackle the currents without being afraid of being swept away. They get to grow strong and feel strong. So what if there are bigger fish in bigger points?  Choose a school who ...

Sleep is the single important thing for healthy brain development 8-10 hours sleep recommended for adolescence your sense of control is weakened by a lack of sleep, the more tired you are, the harder it is to get yourself to go to bed .  You are more likely to eat an entire pint of ice cream at 11pm when you are tired than at 9am when you are fresh.  if you are tired, you are more anxious. if you are more anxious it will be harder to sleep.  sleep deprivation is a form of chronic stress. it can trigger anxiety and mood disorder emotional control is dramatically impaired by sleep deprivation sleep deprivation has physical implications more obesity weaken immune system significant decrease in cancer-killing cells5 How much sleep needed? preschoolers: 10~13h, 6-13 years old: 9~11h, teenagers: 8~10h, 18-25 years old: 7~9h. signs: wake up on her own? tired during the day? restless or irritable during the day? does she fall asleep right after getting o...

The benefits of daydreaming DMN is when your brain does not focus on a task. it is the time when you look in, your brain will make unexpected connections between our scattering memories and keep things in perspective.   set some time for yourself each day. e.g. driving, jogging, or just daydreaming you let your children do nothing. you set some time aside for your children to let them do nothing. Learning to tolerate solitude - to be comfortable with yourself - is one of the most important skills one acquires in childhood. A meditative mind mindfulness transcendence meditation:  needs trained instructor twice a day  resources: for young kids, Lauren